Updates everywhere in this bitch!

Well, looks like I'm back here again. Only three months since last posting, too; what a treat for you. Perhpas you are wondering why I would return now. Boredom? Guilt? Desperate desire to uphold the pretence of being a functional blogger? Maybe one of those; maybe all of those. In truth, I know not myself, though I suspect the reason is linked to the combination of my consideration of myself superior to mere mortals due to being a writer and contempt at my own hypocrisy in possibly writing less than people who do not purport to write anything. It matters not; on with the update!

Recently (in reaction to a strip from the wonderful boys at Penny Arcade, who need not a link from me in the same way Gandalf needs not recommendation by a simpleton hobbit) I bought and read Frank Herbert's epic Dune, or possibly DUNE. Curiously, despite stipulating delivery as close to instantaneously as possible, I did not read it straight away upon reciept of the package. Instead, I let it sit on my desk for a week or two prior to actually commencing it. This was not due to being in the middle of another book, or reluctance to read it, as I was in neither position. I simply felt that, based on what I had heard and read of the book, it was not necessary for me to actually read the book itself straight away. I knew it was going to be good, as it is ranked among the best science-fiction tales ever told and I knew I was going to enjoy it thoroughly as a result. This lended me a sort of comfortable apathy regarding it; I would read it when I was good and ready. When I finally did so, it was, predictably, very good indeed. As a nerd, I have inevitably encountered much literature and fiction inspired by Dune, and it was interesting to me to consider the book in terms of its derivative works as I progressed. The setting of the desert in any fiction has always fascinated me, from the Old West to Tattooine, the desolation and hardship of characters in such a setting lending them some considerable fortitude and strength, and I do feel that Dune epitomises this. I'd recommend it, if far future sci-fi is your kind of thing, as it indubitably should be.

Also; I finally did it- I bought a DS. This was purely and simply because of the release of Pokémon Heartgold and Soulsilver Versions; Pokémon Silver was one of the most enjoyable experiences of my young life, so there was no way I was missing out on this. I played through the whole thing, picking up a Cyndaquil all the way to the cataclysmic ultimate battle with Red, and let me tell you, it was gooood. I long felt the Gold/Silver storyline was fantastic, a real coming-of-age adventure. Reliving it, with the added understanding of my more advanced years, battling and befriending Pokémon and their trainers, honing my own party into six battle hardened demigods- hot damn I love it. I may not buy another DS game until Black and White versions are released, but I regret not a damn thing.

Red Dead Redemption; awesome, but, possibly due to the unusual heat we have lately being experiencing, riddled with crashes. That's all I'm going to say about that, for now.

Played some Warhammer 40,000 last week, not often that I get a game. My breathtaking Evil Sunz Orks ripped apart the Blood Angels in a frenzy of melee combat. I had not been expecting to play, and doing so was a real treat. I may take the hobby a little more seriously this summer, though, as you and I both know, my word on here means precious little.

Content, content... Battlefield: Bad Company 2 was released, as I said it would be in my last post. As anticipated, the multiplayer was highly enjoyable, however, the singleplayer I did find wanting. Though this is perhaps to be expected in a franchise so multiplayer focused as Battlefield, they could at least have given it a proper ending. As I mentioned, all facets of the multiplayer game are enjoyable- footsoldier, tank commander, chopper jock, though in my opinion, too many maps place too much emphasis on the relatively mundane foot combat.

That's all I can think of right now. Maybe I'll post again, but no promises.

World in Battlefield or Why the Swedes are Gods of Gaming

It was an otherwise ordinary day in the blogosphere when the wanderer returned; trolls were trolling, noobs were whining and pwners were pwning. All of them stopped, however, when the wanderer revealed himself upon the hillside, his golden armour radiant in the morning sun. Looking down upon the masses, he sneered, and whispered: "I am returned, slaves of mundanity; and I bring VENGEANCE."

Well, here we are again; both ignoring the fact that I have barely thought about blogging for the last few millenia, or at least months. I was inspired to this by an anonymous commenter on my last post mocking my inactivity- WELL, Mr No Name, I will tolerate my own impossible laziness, but I will not tolerate people reading my blog and asking for more content! What is this, some sort of good, professional blog!? Jesus!

Since I appear to be here again, allow me to give my approximately quad-monthly update. This is started (Emperor only knows when it will be finished) two days before the release of Battlefield: Bad Company 2; the demo for which, interestingly, I played and enjoyed like no demo since the first Bad Company's. From the demo, I feel confident in saying that this game will be off the chain. It seems to me that what they have done is taken some of Modern Warfare's rather excellent controls and gameplay mechanics, and added them to the already tried and true Battlefield formula. The result? A game with the outstanding vehicular/infantry combat and epic scale of a Battlefield game, but the ultra-tight mechanics and pace of a Call of Duty title; a recipe, I'm sure you'll agree, for southern-fried awesometude. There is a great deal of fun to be had in all aspects of gameplay; fighting as infantry is exhilarating, laying down support as a tank commander empowering and acting like the god of thunder in his war chariot in an attack chopper downright spectacular. The improved environmental destruction now allows for the complete levelling of some buildings, opening a whole new realm of tactics- instead of attacking an objective or enemy directly, bring their cover down around them like an earthquake-whisperer. Truly, I am counting down the hours.

On a slightly related note, I recently purchased Massive Entertainments RTS title World in Conflict. This, too, is a high-quality modern combat game developed by Swedes about Russians invading everything. Perhaps they know something we don't. At any rate, the games portrayal of epic, superpower versus superpower war (it's set in 1989, when the Soviets invade Europe then the US and cause World War 3) is extremely effective both as a gameplay and a story-telling environment. Thanks to the wallet-womping Steam deals, I got both the original game and the Soviet Assault expansion in one fell swoop, so I experience the additional missions viewed from the Soviet side interspersed among the American/NATO campaign of the original game. Both put you in the uniform of a faceless, mute lieutenant, so the stories unfold by the communications within missions of your fellow officers and the start, end and inter-mission cutscenes. Both campaigns have interesting characters- the Americans have the brave, determined colonel and the enthusiastic-but-limited-aptitude captain, while the Soviets have the world-weary, patriarchal commander and the young, zealous and patriotic lieutenant. On both sides, you've got enough military hardware to make even a gun nut like me back down, in the form of infantry, vehicles, tanks and choppers, but, not unlike my beloved Dawn of War 2, the game does away with basebuilding and resource gathering in favour of pure kickass combat. What distinguishes it from other games in the genre, however, is the "Tactical Aid" menu- this is a bar that allows you to call in support in the form of air or artillery strikes of varying magnitude and occasionally airdroppable units, based on your mission performance. This is initially entertaining, but the first time you carpet-bomb the heart out of a Soviet armoured column, you realise the tactical possibilities offered by the tool. Aside from the fact that I am a sucker for any opportunity to stomp some socialists, I reckon this is a damn good game.

I'm not gonna make some sort promise to post more; we both know I've lied to you before. So all I will say is make sure you read this one good, could be a while until you get another.

MAN VERSUS ALIEN IN DESPERATE BATTLE

So, as I mentioned in a previous post, I have bought a copy of the third edition of Space Hulk. Doubtless, as you fail to read this you are desperate to learn of my thoughts on it. Well, having played a few games over the weekend, I can tell you this: Space Hulk is awesome.

If you are cool enough never to have even heard of Space Hulk, then here is a brief introduction. The game, set in my beloved Warhammer 40000 universe, centres around a small force of Space Marine Terminators, the elite of humanity's elite, as they board an ancient interstellar vessal/wreck, the titular Space Hulk, in search of relics or technology thought lost. Inside the hulk, they must do battle with the alien Genestealers, vile, six-limbed creatures as numerous as they are ferocious. The game is one of turn based strategy, with one player assuming command of the Marines and the other the Genestealers. It is also one of GW's oldest products, first released in 1989 (the new, third edition was released for the 20th anniversary), and one of the nerdiest things ever.

So, when the giant box arrived on, well, my neighbour's doorstep since I wasn't in, I tore it open with all the relish of a genestealer butchering a hapless terminator. The box was not merely large, but dense, containing two playing manuals (a rulebook and a mission book), several miniature frames, and the veritable flood of cardboard, for the playing area as well as legions of tokens representing the status of marines, the position of aliens currently out of direct sight, flamer effects and reserves of ammuntion (for the monstrous assault cannon) or psychic might for the powerful marine Librarian.

As I have mentioned, players control either marines or xenos in a series of missions outlined in the mission book, included in the (vast) box. These have objectives ranging from simple, team deathmatch style showdowns to complex scenarios requiring marines starting at point A to retrieve an objective at point B before making their escape at point C. I have attempted only two of the twelve, but both proved entertaining from both sides. Unfortunately, both I and the only person I could convince to play with me are massive Imperial fanboys, so we fought violently over sides prior to any actual combat. Perhaps this is that fanboy speaking, but I genuinely felt the marines were the more enjoyable side; since there are so few and they each have names displayed on the side of the box, there is a real narrative feel to the gameplay from the marine side, in addition to the murderous joy of an assault cannon holding overwatch a 'stealer infested corridor. That's not to say play on the home team is dull; shifting blips and attempting to flank the marines is a tricky game of hide and seek- the marines will annihilate you at range, so you have to get close enough to bring the razor claws of your brood to bear. Asymmetrical gameplay is always interesting in a strategy game, and I feel it has been implemented well here. As far as balance goes, the marines won two of the three games we played, but I feel the genestealers may have an advantage in the hands of more experienced players.

A "review", as I suppose this is, is worthless, firstly as nobody reads this, and secondly for it has been so long since release that anyone who cared about it has already bought at least one copy of the strictly limited editions. However! I like writing, but, as my post history shows, I am lazy. I resolved to complete this post in an attempt to counter this fact. With a bit of luck, I will seriously actually totally begin posting with renewed vigour having done this. Wish me luck, you psychopaths!

I am returned!

Lookee! I'm here! I'm posting! Been a while, hasn't it. But, if you, dear reader, are prepared to forgive me that, I will forgive you for not reading this. In fact, I may even go so far as actually posting on a weekly basis or more, as I once claimed I would. Now, to business; I promised myself that I would never post solely to apologise for not posting, so it seems you are owed some actual content.

So, what to write? Well, for a start, I never bought a DS, as I said I would. Had I done so, it would solely have been to play Pokémon, and possibly Tetris DS. Regrettably, what rationality I possess overruled the slavering Pokémaniac within. I think it was for the best- Pokémon deserve a kind, caring trainer, and, especially with the addition of online play, that is not something I could be.

In other news, I have relapsed- I'm back to playing Call of Duty 4 all the god-damn time. I managed to break free for a year, but one day, and quite innocently, I thought: "I know what I haven't played in a while!" I take some consolation in the knowledge that I'm even better than I thought I was- I completed Veteran difficulty in a matter of days, and in multiplayer I am popping heads like a strange man playing some sort of obscene carnival sideshow, which is essentially what I am, so the simile was a bit redundant.

Team Fortress 2 is still close to my heart-Valve's marvellous game design never fails to bring joy to my soul and vigour to my limbs. Closely reading all of the update posts at steampowered, I can't help but feel that they are pouring themselves into continually building and improving upon the foundations they set almost two years ago. That sort of developer support for a title really is a model the industry could do with following.

Recently, I managed to obtain copies of both Warcraft 3 and Starcraft, along with its Brood War expansion. Both are pretty premium as far as strategy gaming goes. Starcraft, being essentially a less bleak version of Warhammer 40000, by which I mean a version where there is any hope at all for anyone, is obviously particularly appealing to me.

Speaking of 40k, I have (almost ceratinly foolishly) purchased for myself a copy of Games Workshop's glorious Space Hulk remake. Although initially the idea sounded a little dull to me, having seen the game and watched it in motion, I couldn't resist grabbing a part of it. I'll report more (seriously) when I actually recieve the damn thing.

I think that's probably it for now. I really promise I'll post again this time, seriously.

Valve are just too amazing

I had only ever dreamed of this; Valve actually disguised the spy update. Top shelf!

Ludicrous Filler Post! or: Deathadder Review (of sorts)

Acutely aware of the recent post drought, I am going to attempt a review feature of my current mouse, Razer's lovely Deathadder. Stand back, citizens, this may be horribly unprofessionally written.

I mentioned in a previous post (not that anyone read that or will, indeed, read this) that I own and use for my daily browsing and nightly pwnage a Razer Deathadder mouse. If you remember, I claimed it was like a Space Marine's trusty chainsword. Although this may have seemed merely an idle bit of Games Workshop geek's classic excessive devotion (a right, nay, duty held by all those who have played any Warhammer tabletop game), there is a grain of truth in it. Like that chainsword, it is my ever-present companion. Like that chainsword, it has joined me for countless battles. Like that chainsword, it serves to defeat my foes, whatever form they come in, be it alien, terrorist, zombie, gangster, or, indeed, large russian man with minigun. The comparison was not as minor as it initially appeared (not least to myself).

So, Razer. Razer have been making gaming mice for uberpros (like myself) since the Boomslang, way back in 1998. This was the first ever 1000dpi gaming mouse and was, in many ways, responsible for the emergence of professional gaming as a phenomenon. Chaps like f4tal1ty basically became what they became thanks to the sponsorship of Razer and the pwnage channeled through their mice. Since then, Razer have been making sweet looking, high performance mice for gaming. One of the more recent examples is the Deathadder.

I bought my Deathadder shortly after getting a new computer and thinking to myself, "Novelty car shaped USB mice are entertaining enough, but something more effective would perhaps be appropriate." So, to Microplay, my local LAN centre and purveyor of tools of pwnage, where I picked up both the mouse and a corresponding Goliathus mat. To be honest, I am very pleased indeed with both. Admittedly, I have never owned a gaming mouse before, but as far as I can tell, the Deathadder is a goodun. The mouse will run out of the box, but it is rather sensible to install the supplied driver software. This installation was painless, and vastly empowering- it allows for customisation of the buttons, including the two side buttons. On mine, one is set to doubleclicking (purely due to laziness on my part) and the other is set to adjust one of this mouse's most intriguing features- on-the-fly sensitivity adjustment.

I say this is interesting, because it is something that had never occurred to me as necessary, but having it, seems a very good idea. On-the-fly sensitivity allows you, with the press of a side button and a scroll of the wheel, to change the sensitivity of the mouse. Upon doing so, a small, unobtrusive bar appears at the side of the screen, showing the current sensitivity setting, and allowing you to change it whichever way you fancy. This can be done at any time- on the desktop, in the midst of a firefight or even while writing a blog, with such great ease that it seems foolish not to adjust it. Switching between high-sensitivity for gaming and lower sensitivity for normal use is staggeringly simple. This is not the limit of the use, however- if, playing Scout in my beloved Team Fortress 2, I decide to switch class to Sniper, I can crank the sensitivity right down from the maximum (as needed for the rapid Scout's Scattergun) to a medium sensitivity (allowing me to miss headshots with huge precision). This is what makes this feature so useful to a gamer (obviously it does not only apply to TF2). My one gripe is that not all games will display the sidebar correctly- some show it with considerable flicker, for example. This does not render the feature unusable- it merely hinders the use.

Yeah, we got pictures now. This one shows how little effect adjusting your sensitivity has on batting people to death.

Onwards, brothers, to aesthetics. Allow me to assure you, reader (yes, I mean there is but one of you), that I would be prepared to stand up before a jury of my peers and assert that this mouse looks freakin' sweet. The rubberised palmrest arches gracefully up into two oversized buttons around the blue glow of the scroll wheel. Also glowing away is the three-headed snake of the Razer logo, bang in the centre of the palmrest. The steady pulse of this suggests to me a relaxed but great power, like the engine flares of an interstellar battleship at high orbit. This is never anything other than cool as hell, though, unless you have had a nasty accident, it is not visible while the mouse is in use.

Glowing merrily away.

The scroll wheel offers good grip for all your weapon switching needs, but is a click action type rather than a smooth one, betraying this mouse as a tool for gamers. Some may prefer a smooth scroll, but they aren't writing this, are they? Another matter of preference comes in the very shape of the mouse- it's for right hands only. This does not strike me, a left hander, as an issue- neither I nor any of the multitudinous lefties I know use their mouse in their left hand, but I felt I owe my readers the truth in these matters. The rubberised palmrest gives good grip, too, although the side buttons are glossy plastic and do not share this quality. This transition from gloss to matte does, however, add to the striking nature of the mouse's appearance.

Finally, performance. This is pretty impressive. The mouse is equipped with an 1800dpi 3G infrared sensor. Coupled with the high quality mat, this offers unparalled precision. Well, that's what a professional reviewer would say. I am not one, so I don't see enough mice to draw parallels. I can say, however, that since buying this mouse, I have not once felt that it has let me down. From a gamer, that is, someone prepared to blame failure upon mice, keyboards, routers, hacks or even the dreaded lag, that is endorsement.

En conclusion, if you are in the market for a tool of pwnage so comfortable, so precise, so downright potent that lesser beings will quake at your approach, you could do a whole lot worse than a Deathadder.

Aw hell, it's been a MONTH!?

That's right, sports fans, it's been more than a month since last I blessed you with my writings. Miss me? Yup, that's a trick question, you're not reading this! Don't worry, noone else is. I can't justify the drought, but by way of reparation, accept this!

Been playing a bit of Dawn of War: Dark Crusade lately. I posted previously about Dawn of War 2, which is still wonderful, but thanks to some madman in Relics patching department, I am denied playing it by what seems to be an overheating issue. So, I turn to its younger brother, Dark Crusade.

There were many who complained about Dawn Of War 2's radical change in gameplay from its predecessor. The combat focus, with the complete elimination of basebuilding and the reduced scale of the strategy threw some DOW fans, as well as many RTS veterans. However, playing the first game, I can't help but wonder if this was the approach Relic wanted all along. Comparing Dawn of War to other RTS games before it, we see... well, reduction in scale and simplification of basebuilding. Although Dawn of War retains the same basic system of workers, structures and technology research as its forebears, there are certainly signs of the combat focus creeping in. Though the traditional elements are all there, they serve no higher purpose than cogs in the machine of killing the other blokes troops. There are worker units, sure, but there is none of this girly resource harvesting we get from Age of Empires and the like- no, these guys build places for soldiers to come out of. Or turrets to shoot other soldiers. Or places to research bigger guns for your soldiers. Looking at it this way, it seems hopelessly convoluted when compared to Dawn of War 2, which removes all the frippery and leaves the pure combat. Playing Dark Crusade, I feel that it craves this purity.

On a further note of 40K, I have begun reading the Black Library's Horus Heresy series of novels. These are, by my reckoning, bloody good. I suspect and fear that a fanboy like myself simply CANNOT report objectively in these matters, but the quality of the literature itself seems to be at the very least sturdy. The Horus Heresy, for the uninitiated, is the broad term for the events surrounding the cataclysmic civil war that nearly destroyed humanity. The books tell the considerable saga of how the the Emperor (of Mankind)'s favourite son and commander of the Great Crusade into the galaxy, Horus, falls to the dark powers of Chaos, and turns against his father. It would be madness for anyone into 40K not to give these a look, but I would reccomend them to anyone interested in sci-fi.

What else? Ah yes, a little more before they haul me back to the padded cell. Upon finding my rather dusty Game Boy Advance SP and discovering it had a miraculously high level of battery charge, I began playing Pokémon Ruby. It amazes me how good the Pokémon series remains. It is still hugely entertaining to capture, train and battle the creatures, even in a world of PSP-3000s, DSis and, though it pains me to say it, iPod/Phones. My faithful Combusken is now level 27, and kicks quite a lot of ass. I have a half-formed plan to buy a DS Lite or, possibly, DSi once my exams are dispensed with and get stuck in to the upcoming Platinum Version. Whatever happens, I will no doubt write of it, but know this- Pokémon rules now and always.